to get out of the loser cave

A member always used this to encourage me all the time. 

'God will only give you what you cannot handle'. 

I was always appreciative of the amount of comfort that sentence gives. However, there was always a pinch of doubt whenever i thought about it. Soon after, after listening to a Steven Furtick sermon during my Surbana days, I totally rejected this encouragement all together. 

Steven Furtick shared this. 

1 cor 4:7 Paul says, 'we now have this light shining in our hearts but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. 

God will never give me what I can only handle. He will give me something I can cannot handle. So that I can draw strength from him. So that doing the impossible will make it clear that my power is clearly not from me, but from Him. 

i've been studying in clb and med almost everyday since the 15th April 2018. I know i post a lot on instagram about how much im in clb, all the goodie bags received, me making fun of fiona and jeshua all, but behind the camera im honestly dying inside. 

These are my thoughts. Is this worth it? Is this A worth my time? What if i dont do well? Does God mind me taking more time to study so that i can do well? am i gonna burn out? 

but i realized that i'll be a loser if i was stuck in this cave of uncertainty and questions. so ive been very reminded of what steven furtick said. 'God will give you what you cannot handle.' 

God will never give me what I can handle. if not then, what's the point of the holy spirit, i dont need to be a christian to do well, everyone in the whole damn clb can handle finals and have the strength to achieve those As. 

also. another thing. I realized that studying for finals is really not about strength to finish all the chapters. really everyone in the whole damn NUS has that strength to get a cap 5.0 even with or without Jesus.

so sarah, then what strength are you talking about? Perhaps im talking about that strength to do my quiet time everyday, to read His word everyday, to come before his feet and simply wait for His presence. I think this is real strength. 

i think it requires strength to even say this, 'you can have all this world but give me Jesus'. to trade my grades for Jesus. In that moment of worshipping God with those lyrics, it seems so easy and convenient to trade everything for Jesus. But during seasons of trial and exams, sarah are you willing to do that?