Its been 4 days since my last day of work. Been prepping bible study notes with fiona and my sister next to me. In those moments, I subconsciously thought that, hey I'm finding solitude in God again. I guess I was wrong. I realized that that wasn't solitude because I was still surrounded by people.
It was only yesterday, after lunch with my cousin, that I had huge pockets of time like 2 hours to spare before the next errand to run. I got a little bit jittery, a little bit lost, in a sense that, I had no one to talk to physically (now its worse that I'm having a really bad and random sore throat) but to jot down my thoughts in my notebook or to read my book. It was a little but uncomfortable at first but after awhile, I got a little bit more used to it.
Now that I am semi-mute, I can't communicate much with people. Now that the new semester in NUS has begun and a few friends who already flew off for exchange.. the replies become a litle bit slower and slowly there are no notifications appearing at your homepage. It's weird. I'll just be really honest here, it is uncomfortable but I know that this process is really necessary because I need to learn how to find solitude in God.
In fact I want to be okay with being alone with God. I want to stay on my lane alone with God. I want to learn how to find soltitude in God. I want to come to a place where I understand the concept of my eternity in heaven.
I would like to come to place where I don't need anyone else but Jesus. I think I can't achieve this in like 1 week but I guess it takes a lifetime for to truly understand this.
And when I come to die
When I come to die
When I come to die
Give me Jesus
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