Into this magical place

Hello everyone, its been about six years since I have blogged. Opened this place because I thought it was necessary to just pen, uhm, I mean, type down, my thoughts about certain things here. Maybe some can relate to me, well, maybe some of you guys may not. I'm not like Amos Yee or Xiaxue with perfect grammar so please bear with me. 

Whatever, let's begin.

Before I graduated from junior college, I thought that going to this place would be cool, a place for the more than average people, exclusively for the cool people in school. Well, I thought that this place would make me feel more grown up. I am not going to disclose where this place is but I guess you'll find out soon anyway.

Since I'm having my holidays, I must say, I have been visiting this place quite often (I don't know what's your definition of often so) and to be terribly honest, this place made me feel happy. I guess everyone in there feels generally happy, right? 

That place made me feel included, it made me feel as if I was part of something. It was a place where I didn't have to worry about uni applications, parents, other friends, studies, you name it. I'm not sure if this is true but people become more open, more relaxed, more chilled. And this is the kind of company I'd like. 

I think being single has its perks there, guys pick you up, buy drinks for you, dig you, send you home, and the list goes on and on. From the bottom of my heart, I really enjoyed some of them. Needless to say, it did make me feel good and satisfied with who I was. 
Just recently, at a particular moment, it almost became this drug to me. Of course, with this thing called ethanol, everything would seem almost perfect. Again, to be brutally honest, I didn't mind going again and again, just for the fun and everything. 

However, this afternoon, in the office, I started to reflect about how I have been living life.

Reality kind of hit me in the fucking face actually. 

I realised that I wasn't the person that I was anymore. I didn't feel like Sarah Lee anymore. Instead, I felt rather empty inside after realising that I have been treating this place as if it was a living sanctuary where I could find refuge for happiness, joy, whatever shit is that.
I looked around, I saw my mum and my dad. I scanned through my What's App contacts, realising that I have more than enough friends to keep me going and I didn't need this longing to visit this place anymore. What more was that I realised that I did not need one of those perfunctory friendships made in that place anymore. 

Previously I shared how amazing this place is but there's still a very, but not very ugly side of it. It causes friends, couples to break up. And sometimes it makes you lose your dignity.(Again, you may not agree with me but this is just my point of view). It breaks and hurt people, basically. 
I think I need a break from this magical place, to get my shit together and figure things out. 

So, the question is, will I still go back to this incredible place? (The answer might piss you off actually.)


Yes, definitely, after I get my shit together. haha. 

P.S I'm really not the very thoughtful-emotional-poetic kind of person, I'm quite crazy in real life, just using this space to settle my thoughts.