I was a liar, I gave into the fire

Hey all, nice to see quite a number of views for the previous post. My life's seriously quite mundane now, its just work, sleep, texting, eating Wati's food, coughing like hell. 

The topic of relationship has been lingering in my head for a bit now, so I think I'm gonna talk about relationships in this post. yah. 

I guess most of the readers of this unforsaken blog are about 18-20 years old? That's the age where our hormones are raging, we desire attention from the opposite sex (or the same sex?), we want someone to be there for us, instantaneous replies in What's App, care and concern, to fill in that barren hole in us....... yes. 

I suppose this is a very general, sweeping statement to some people, but its kind of true to a certain extent, to me. 

After having bits and pieces of conversations here and there about relationships with a few people, I realised that I'm not ready for one. 

Well. Here's why. I feel that there's definitely much more to life besides being in a relationship for a nineteen year old like me. Trust me, I was in a relationship during my JC years. I think I would know a little bit, just a little tiny bit about being in a relationship, or rather a burden one. 

To me, right now, in my current status of life, I feel that there's more to cuddling with your partner on bed watching Arrow or Game of Thrones, holding hands, going on dates to some artsy fartsy cafes. There's so much more to do and enjoy life as it is. 

In fact, someone recently who told me this, 'Do you know that we're actually damn young to be in a relationship? We're going to uni, there's gonna be internships, exchange programmes, hall, friends, orientation boot camps. You'll feel so restricted.' 

That guy really got me thinking about this. After thinking about it, I realised that it is very true. I realised that its really quite burdensome to be in a relationship and yet juggle with studies, family and friends. Furthermore, it doesn't give you an opportunity to really enjoy life as it is. 

(Ok, for the record, some people may disagree with me but hey, this is where I jot down my opinions, right?) 

Can you imagine, you wanna make new friends from the opposite sex and your girl or boy will go like, uhm, 'how's he/she like? Handsome or not? Pretty or not?'

If yes, well, to avoid many further arguments, you would rather stay status quo. 

In the context of Singapore, especially if your boyfriend/girlfriend is in army, the army boy will be even more insecure and then trust comes into the picture and yadayadayada and the argument commences. 

To summarize, you would feel restricted if you're in a relationship, at this age, of course. 


Moving on, I asked this person in church why didn't she want to be in a relationship during her studying days. (FYI, she's currently in her mid twenties and happily in a relationship)

And she said, 'Looking back at my studying days, I felt that I shouldn't waste my youth on such things like relationships... I told myself that I wanted to spend my youth serving God by studying hard and being involved in church and all so I didn't actually bother being in one.'

She told me this awhile back in the beginning of year and that really struck me, hard. Yes, I was still attached at that time and that got me thinking. After careful deliberation, I kind of dumped him. Ok that's another story, so back to the point. 

Basically, I just want to maximise the freedom I have during my youth. Like, meeting new people, dating a few guys if I'm lucky in NUS, spending time with friends and family, travelling, serving God... 

I guess some people can still enjoy this privilege despite being in a relationship? 
Or maybe this is just a frivolous point of view that I have. 

Yup. I think I'm not yet at that level of maturity to really understand what is it like to be in a relationship, even though I might have some experience in it. 

Well, all these relationship thingy things can be settled in the future I hope, just not now.

If I ever, ever, get into a relationship during my uni days, please remind me of this blog post and say that I'm a hypocrite.

haha.