a sucker for love

expectations. i think i struggle so much with that. 

expectations of people to be on time. to spend time with me. to reply my texts just as how quick i reply them. to say the same things as i do. 

before i got into the water today, i told myself, 'im going to learn how to love people unconditionally'. i blew the candle and i asked God to teach me how to love people unconditionally. 

to love someone authentically without any agenda. 

i kept reminding myself this today. 'focus on being the lamp and not so much of the oil'. 

i want to breakthrough in this. i find it hard to love without expectations. 

i think im a sucker for love. not just love in relationships but in my family, with my friends, to everyone. sometimes i dont know how to love without giving a part of myself away. sometimes i become very frustrated when i dont receive the same amount of love back. 

but you see. 

i am a vessel and i am not the oil. i am the vessel. im just someone that God merely uses to love someone. 

im trying to. im trying to love with minimal expectations. im trying to be that vessel that God has called me to be to love you. 

God fill me with your love, for your love is sufficient for me. it is sufficient for me. you love me. I am yours and you are mine. i am your beloved. you love me. you truly love me. i will not let go until i am fully convinced that you love me. 

tell me that you love me God, please.