Thank you, for everything

Its been 8 months since it happened, things have changed drastically and little did I know that things will change so much. 

It all started last Saturday, after a long day of lunch, cell group and bible study, I felt a wave of gratefulness overwhelm me. I didn't know how privileged I am to have Gerald, Leila and Brenda to lead me to who God wants me to become. I had no idea how much time was invested on me to become who I am today until last Saturday. Being a leader in church, now I know how it feels when you sacrifice playing time with friends to give bible study to your members. Thank you for not giving up on me. 


To all my best friends - 

Thank you for loving me wholeheartedly. I appreciate everything, from the endless laughters about stupid things to the tears we shed together. You have no idea how much it means to be when you say, 'Sarah can I come to your house?' 'Sarah I love you so much' 'Sarah Thank you understanding'. I made some mistakes earlier in the year, I'm so grateful for guys taking sides (not like any of you did) and handling the whole matter so maturely and gracefully. Even though I made things difficult for you all, you all still came to my house, to fellowship with my family and I, to share my burdens with me, for being so responsive when I invite you guys over. 


Last night, I asked God, 'God, what did I do to deserve such friendships?' I don't know but I know I'm so, so, blessed to have such friends in my life. I don't know what I did but thank you everyone for loving me. 

Fill me with power and truth, fill me with love from you  

Selfish motives

Wohoo I think my feelings got ahead of me. Zoomed right straight into my face when I was in Australia. I'm trying my very, very, best to erase it. Unfortunately, nothing seems to work now. Ignoring/not replying/double ticking/blue ticking is just a slippery slope in this case. I think time will help me, I need to get over this. 

Friendships are just like sunsets, the sun sets, light fades and darkness creeps in. (Well that's if you choose to let go) It's only a matter of time till the sun sets. I hope my attempt to erase you from my life will make things better, for me. 

I'm not sure if this is a very selfish thing to do. There's so much stake in this. I want to save myself from falling to deep into the trap, at the same time, I know you'd wouldn't like it as well. I think you're okay, you're sufficient without me, its okay, I can live without you. 

Urgh I need help. Real help.