Racing

Hello everyone, time to properly update everyone here on my life. 4 papers down and 1 more to go. Been studying almost everyday in the library since 7th November and its already 28th November. It feels very long, my eyelids become heavier each day, sometimes I even have to force myself out of bed at 7.20am. I'm getting bored of studying pop but I still thank God for J3sus Songz to uplift my spirit man. 

Above it all, I'm still learning how to consciously see the positive in everything and how Jenn Johnson puts it, to magnify God's perspective in everything you do. I know it sounds very duh but as we grow older, we're exposed to more perspectives and emotions. Somehow it feels like its a very natural human tendency to feel negative or to just shove your head into this swirl of negativity. It's almost like quick sand, if you don't stop it, you'd just sink deeper and deeper into it. It sounds so obvious but yet its so true. 

Nonetheless, thank God for encouraging friends who struggle the woes of finals with me, for young cell group members who never fail to make me smile every weekend, for the wonderful and anointed cell group leaders I have. I thank God for the endless conversations about Him with Fiona, the grace we share before Yong Tau Foo at The Deck, the never ending conversations about construction and JJ Lin. I always admired Gerald's friendship with his best friend Ryan, like how God is the centre of their friendship and how they have similar goals in serving in church... And I dare say that this is finally coming true in my life, in a sense that He has blessed me with a wonderful, bubbly, God fearing, friend like Fiona to struggle this race with me. 

Thank God for everything la. 

Ray of light

等到黑夜翻面之后 會是新的白晝

等到海嘯退去之后 隻是潮起潮落

別到最后你才發覺 心裡頭的野獸

還沒到最終就已經罷休

心臟沒有那麼脆弱 總還會有執著

人生不會隻有收獲 總難免有傷口

不要害怕生命中 不完美的角落

陽光在每個裂縫中散落

Cried balls after watching the music video of 裂縫中的陽光. Extremely thankful for the people who love me for who I am. Thank you for being my light when everything seem so dark sometimes (Don't worry, I'm not sad). 

Seems like things are changing and I can't help but to feel powerless. I don't really like change and I like control over my time, space, everything. Seems like everything are getting better, at least. 

Nontheless, God is good. (Well someone challeneged me, 'Sarah, do you think the entire bible is actually a conspiracy so that the world can conform to this set of 'moral values'?)

Sorr y for the really messy and unorganized thoughts. haha. 

To put an end

4 more hours. Heart racing as I prepare for tomorrow's presentation, for the revision to be done in the next 2 weeks, for finals coming up in 2 weeks time. Entangled with my feelings, been asking God to shut the door to the best of my ability for the past 12 weeks. I guess its time to shut this door on my own. But mum says that God doesn't shut doors because of his grace towards us. 

I hope everything gets better after today. Cheers to a new beginning! 

Memories on tarmac

Sarah Lee, [02.11.16 22:26]

In 171, with my headphones on, cruising through bukit timah road. Thank God there wasn't a jam. (Bukit timah kids will understand this pain) 

That whole stretch of tarmac held a lot of dear memories, in fact. 

I took a bus on my own for the first time and got lost. Squeezing with those sweaty Hwa Chong boys after a long session of Girls' Brigade every Friday. Sixth Avenue was my favourite family hang out spot. Remembered eating yoghurt with Gerald, Marcus and Lovewell at coffee bean. Gerald introducing to us the glorious world of MBTI personality types. Dad would buy us ice cream at the Macdonald's drive through on Friday nights. Talking to Rachel Tjah the first time on 67. Meeting Jia Yan in 67 on her first day of IB in 2013... oh, those primary school memories and the rowdy bus rides we shared along that long, treacherous stretch of road! 

Bus memories. I had many fond ones and not so fond ones. I remember getting into a cat fight with a sec 1 girl because I suspected she was taking photos of me in 961. While there were fond memories of... alone times, conversations about church, members, God, the cell group, how O levels were so difficult, about how we will never get together. (Laughs)